CLYW

Settle in, oddly accusatory internet citizen, and let me tell you a story!

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Chapter One
One upon a time a kindly young fellow named Chris said "I like return tops!" and set out to find the very best one. He tried this one and that one and found that they all sucked. He was so sad. "I'm so sad, why do these all suck?" cried Chris. Then one day he remembered "Holy crap, I'm a mechanical engineer. Screw this, I'll make my own return tops with blackjack and hookers!" and so he did, except that he used flannel and syrup and math and love instead of blackjack and hookers and I think we can all agree that was a better idea.

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Chapter Two
As the years went on, Chris continued making the very best return tops he could. Eventually he settled on a machine shop in the far away land of The United States, a wild and treacherous place where health care isn't free and no one understands how good it is to put gravy and cheese curds on your fries. The machine shop was kind of expensive, but it was so much better than the others he had tried to use so he said "These are gonna be a little pricey, you guys" and his fans said "ALL GOOD KEEP 'EM COMING!" and everything was cool. And since Chris was a friggin' genius, the designs got better and his team of super rad players got bigger and his costs to keep the business going got higher and higher but everyone looooooved his stuff so much that he said "Ok, let's keep this train rolling!" and so he did.

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Chapter Three
More years went by, and his company became more popular because their team is amazing and Chris is, literally, the nicest dude ever. And instead of just being craved by high-end players his products became so popular that even younger, less experienced players wanted them. But they were still made in really small batches, by a talented but expensive machine shop, and occasionally ruined by anodizers (BOOO!) which kept his runs small and his prices high. More people wanted his magical return tops than he could possibly make! Chris got really stressed out so he took a magical nap and pondered his options.

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Chapter Four
Chris awoke from his nap and said "I'll hire a troll!" he said! So he called Steve Brown and said "Come work for me and let's make art and stuff" and Steve said "Let's make money too" and Chris said "I'm kinda terrible at that" and Steve said "All good, I'll worry about the money and you make all the big decisions so that we never lose our way or act like dicks" and Chris said "Perfect!" and so they began doing things just a little bit better and finally Steve said "A lot of people really want to have the CLYW experience but they can't afford it" and Chris thought long and hard and Steve thought long and hard and they talked to their team and their fans and said "You know what? Let's start working on some less expensive models and have them made overseas so that even our fans who don't have much money can be part of the CLYW family" and so they started working on it.

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Chapter Five
Coming soon.

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