@Hadacol

Herbert Henry Asquith

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If you have or had grandparents, what did you call them? Do any of your relatives have family pet names for you, or you for them? (my youngest nephew calls me Aiya, which I think is adorable)

shehitsback’s Profile PhotoAllison
In a similar way to your being called Aiya, I'm known as Aloo in my family because my friend mispronounced my name when we were very young (Andrew is my real name). Also I like that the Russian diminuitive of my name would be Andryusha, no one calls me that but it would be cool if they did :)

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What is the difference between revenge and justice, in your opinion? If you intend to make someone "pay for what they've done" (for example, if they murder your parents), does it make you just or vengeful? When does mere justice morph into vengeance and why?

I always vaguely thought revenge was a personal vendetta, like a blood feud down the generations that never gets solved because there's always something to avenge. Justice is more impartial. But then you've got the question of whether justice and mercy are compatible, what either of them is, and which is more important if they collide.
If someone murdered my parents and I killed him, what if his children avenged him by killing me? But if that person was executed, that might be justice, but what if people are killed unjustly?
For example, Lenin's brother was executed by the Tsar's forces and it fed his need for vengeance.
I think it might be a good idea if people did this. (Though apparently they don't, as with the right-wing Christians supporting Donald Trump).
"Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head."
Can you imagine that, a hate-filled person trying to have his revenge for slights real and imaginary, and the people he hates would repay that with kindness, it would shame that person. ("coals of fire" would be the rebuke given to him and his violent life).

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Why are individuals who are dominant in romantic relationships often seen as abusive predators who hunt their prey (even when those relationships are perfectly consensual), in your opinion?

Partly because of stereotypes that are unjust, but also because it can be hard to tell the difference.
It's like people saying that forced marriages may be bad but arranged marriages are ok, and it's important to distinguish. But a 15 year old girl who is told to marry her cousin (this does happen in some parts of the world) doesn't really have a meaningful choice, and it's hard to distinguish between "arranged" and "forced".
So if someone wants to be told what to do, dominated and treated as a slave that's ok if they get their jollies that way, but there has to be a way out and people who enjoy being dominant should know that they only rule by consent of the person they rule over and a kink in sex or a preference in a relationship can be changed whenever.
It is a question of allowing people genuinely to do what they want at all times, including when they decide an arrangement no longer suits them. They have the right to be sub/dom and to stop being that way.

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If you do something that's wrong, but you have no idea it's actually wrong, and a person comes and is very rude to you about it and treats you very poorly, how do you react? Please be honest. If not, please delete.

shairaleerivera’s Profile PhotoLee
I will react badly, I won't deny that I have my pride (too much, probably) and a justified rebuke will simply be ignored if not expressed the right way or just when it's a bad time for me.
In The Road to Wigan Pier, Orwell says that “If you want to make an enemy of a man, tell him that his ills are incurable.” Indeed. If you just shout at me I'll hate you for it, if you constructively suggest that something I do is wrong and here's how to make it right I might listen then.
Unless I don't :)
Sometimes a rebuke may be justified but the person doing the admonishing is so unpleasant and negative about it that you wonder who the wrongdoer really is here. So I won't take kindly to those people but maybe I won't take kindly to anyone, I'm human and I have my reactions.
Liked by: Lee

Do you think mental illness affects the person who is suffering from it more than it affects the people who interact with the sufferer on a daily basis? Or does it affect both equally? Why?

Certainly it's worse for the sufferer, especially since they will generally be trying to hide their disability and "pass" in square society, even though that may be impossible.
If people who are, for instance, on the autistic spectrum don't get that support (especially early on) the blessing the difference and quirkiness could be to them is lost and everyone loses.
I appreciate the argument that carers have to work hard but it isn't always necessarily a problem, that's just the way it's seen by a society that turns away some people's contributions (especially in the early years).
I see it from all sides, that's never a good sign, it confuses the issue and means I don't know what to think :)

@carlyincontro asks, "Would you rather sneeze glitter or cough confetti?”

What a shit question, I'm going to answer it with animals.
I strongly disagree with the farmer's policy in turning his cows loose on a field with trees in it, that's actually in a park, not his own private grounds. But it's a good photo opportunity!
carlyincontro asks Would you rather sneeze glitter or cough confetti
Liked by: Lee

How do you deal/interact with a person that has extremely opposite views and beliefs than yourself?

shairaleerivera’s Profile PhotoLee
I deal with this by not having any views :)
Seriously, I used to think I knew what it was all about, but then I had a bout of hypothyroidism, which lasted for I don't even know how long (I mistook the early symptoms for ageing and was too stubborn and proud to seek help later on).
So that arrogance and all my preconceived ideas were knocked out of mu head, but not particularly replaced with anything. So unless you're the sort of person who deliberately goes round being nasty I will probably get on well enough. Except for people like supervisors, managers etc, I just politely keep my distance from such people.
Liked by: Lee

Do you think most people nowadays prefer "googling" their symptoms and self-diagnosing rather than visiting a physician? Why?

Yes, I think that happens. Doctors aren't gods and can be fallible, but I think the body of information and experience they've weighed up outweighs the "research" that leads people to believe they're in need of homeopathy, or be "sceptics" about vaccines.
It is one of the things that make me most angry. You've got people peddling homeopathy and vitamin pills to people with AIDS, white middle-class fuckwits that won't vaccinate their children and put their health and that of others at risk.
Seemingly no one is immune to this trend, even people with scientific education can have irrational beliefs.
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Engineers_and_woo
And I am on the autistic spectrum myself (I don't normally talk about this, if you don't mind) and it makes me so angry that a condition that can be mitigated and produce good effects (for instance being the basis of a single-minded devotion to a successful career in real research) is treated as if it was some kind of disease for which the parents can be blamed, apart from the fact that taking vaccines isn't bad but not taking vaccines is.
Then again, I've said all this and I think I'm expressing justified anger, but doctors can be wrong too, and have their own vested interests (read Big Pharma by Ben Goldacre). So you're better off using professionals as your main, but not only, source and keeping the hell away from people who promote woo.

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What is the best thing that's happened to you recently?

Not a lot's happened, I'm grimly surviving the winter and waiting until I get my wages :)
And then I'm booking a holiday with a difference, a working holiday doing what I've always wanted, to plant trees. I love the idea. Because if you get involved with any activism it might go wrong and result in the opposite of what you'd set out to achieve, or if your children are your pride and joy they might turn out bad. But a tree will still be here long after I'm dead. I've dipped a toe into these waters but not done half as much as I'm hoping to.
http://treesforlife.org.uk/
Apart from this I'm just surviving the attacks of Generals January and February (apparently this American snow is going to travel to us, melt over the Atlantic, and give us even more rain than ever). But I think about this business and my 93-mile walk in March with 4 overnight stays and it cheers me up ;)

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What makes you feel stressed? How do you deal with stress?

shairaleerivera’s Profile PhotoLee
Everything makes me feel stressed, especially work.
I exercise, I find that as I walk or cycle further, especially if I climb higher and higher, I can leave mundane cares behind and get ideas as to how to better deal with life. The smaller things melt away and an idea of how to handle the bigger things is got.
I don't believe we've met :) So you may not have seen my website of photography I take on my journeys.
http://dry-valleys.tumblr.com/tagged/photos
I enclose a picture from what's now my favourite walk, which I do on a Monday morning and without which I'd probably go insane during the working day. Soon I'll be watching the sun rise during this walk, soon after that doing it all in board daylight, but I got an amazing moon,
What makes you feel stressed How do you deal with stress
Liked by: Lee

What is your idea of a proper whiskey? What is it that you like about them?

I like the single malt whiskies, when taken in moderation thet have a kind of smoky, peaty taste that goes well, I like it before eating. My favourite is the talisker, distilled on the isle of Skye. Somehow it's savoury taste works really well in some contexts. And while I'll doubtless be excommunicated for saying this, I like it with drinking chocolate :)

What's something you've never tried but would like to?

shehitsback’s Profile PhotoAllison
Proper hardcore long-distance walking, walking from hotel to hotel (or sometimes just random rooms or shelters), and spending most of the day on the road. Or cycling. There's apparently a really good one in Spain, but I'm just going to build up to it with one one this Easter.
http://twosaintsway.org.uk/
I'm a bit apprehensive about all that exercise in just 4 days but that's the point, a hardcore attack :)

Why do you think some individuals proceed lying even after the truth has been discovered? Is it because they're desperate?

I just think deceit becomes a way of life, and people start to believe their own lies, and to do that thing where they mix lies with just about enough truth to get away with it.
I suppose it's enjoyable being so creative with lies and the thrill of getting away with it and people just get drunk on their own deceptions. But I don't know really, I'm not a hardcore villain :)

Can a person manipulate someone unknowingly? (E.g., without being aware that their own behavior is manipulative.) Elaborate, please.

Yes, I think they definitely can. Some people get so used to manipulating others and some to being manipulated that they're not even consciously doing it, or partly conscious and partly deluded themselves into thinking they're doing it for the victim's own good.
Do villians ever think of themselves as villains or as justified by a higher cause? Is some petty thug worse than a noble idealist who turns nasty when his plans aren't working and people aren't following what he wants them- for their own good- to do.
You've reminded me of an excellent book, One Night In Winter by Simon Montefiore (whose latest is out next week, I'm really looking forward to it). In 1945, an American diplomat meets a Soviet girl and this ensues.
He put a hand on her arm. ‘Look, I know what you’re getting at because I asked you out so quickly. But I saw that I had just one minute before you left and I’d never see you again. You’re wondering if I’m an agent of the capitalist-imperial powers and I do admit I wondered how a beautiful girl happened to be in my box, alone, on the very evening I decided to come to the ballet.’
She smiled uncertainly. She had not thought of this.
‘So you were wondering whether I am a spy?’ She paused. ‘I don’t think I am – unless it’s possible to be a spy without knowing it.’
‘That’s a very Russian idea,’ he answered.

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Liked by: Zainab

Do you feel that your sense of self/your personality is very defined, or does it change depending on who or what you are exposed to?

shehitsback’s Profile PhotoAllison
Yes, my truest and deepest sense of self is hard to reach, especially after my brush with hypothyroidism and recovery made me feel more mortal, and somehow want to rediscover the beliefs I had as a child.
It is all very confused here thinking about what I am, atheist, Catholic or what, when I became aware of my mortality and had physical and mental weakness some of thhe beliefs I'd had for years eroded away.
Only what I thought in my 20s has gone, but not been replaced by anything, so I don't know who or what I am :)

What is the most interesting thing you've learned recently?

I've learnt about the real Grigory Potemkin, he was very different and much better than the legends told about him in the west.
http://www.simonsebagmontefiore.com/catherineandpotemkin.aspx
I read one of the author's books a few years ago and when I heard he had a new one out, I decided to but and read the old ones, and I'm just waiting for the new one, the thought keeps me alive during several grim working days :)
His fiction is to die for and really I loved reading all his books and I thought I'd mention the Potemkin one because it busts all the Western & Soviet slurs about him.

What do you like most about the month of January?

Not a lot :)
The only redeeming feature this month has is the easily available sunrises and sunsets without having to keep silly hours. And I'm ambiguous about the snow but like anything (and you NEVER anticipated this, I'm sure) there were photos to be had.
http://dry-valleys.tumblr.com/post/137277375534/snow-had-fallen-though-not-much-at-bradwell
Apart from that I'm clinging on until Chinese New Year, there's a big in the city my girlfriend lives in so we'll get a big deal done :)

I've had to post a question on my page entitled "The Question" about the UK honours system, as it's too many words to post here. This is your space to answer it here, should you wish to :-)

CactusDoug’s Profile PhotoDoug
You can tell the "honours" system is debased when Liz hasn't offered me one despite what a warrior and hero I so obviously am and how legendary my work is.
http://dry-valleys.tumblr.com/tagged/photos
Though, I don't think it's likely, I don't know what I'd do in the unlikely event of this occurring. I read Decline and Fall of the British Aristocracy by David Cannadine and he charts tHe debasement of the whole principle. The old-line Whigs and tories had more than enough faults but they believed in upholding the dignity of the upper house and they wouldn't have stuck any old bellend in it.
Unfortunately, they failed to add enough talented working- and middle-class achievers to their ranks so the pre-1911 system looked distinctively shaky.
And when the lords were cynically used by the tories to obstruct the government of, era, Herbert Henry Asquith (hello!) they needed to be mended or ended.
Regrettably as David Cannadine explains it wasn't properly mended and the cynicism of Lloyd George and subsequent types shows that an institution belonging to a previous age, whose values weren't all bad, couldn't stay true in the hands of people who despised it and people who saw it as a way of raising funds.
What a good upper house would be like, 'fraid you'll have to ask someone else that. As I say I've been overlooked, unforgivably so.

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Liked by: Doug

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Language: English