@syazanazura

Syaza Nazura

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Kak, I am in love with this one guy without knowing he knowing bout it. I can’t really stop thinking about him everyday eventhough I tried. What should I do?

1) Have you tried talking to him? Or does he know that you exist?
2) Figure out why you're in love with him, and figure out if it's really 'love' or 'lust', or that you just admire him / his looks / his personality / his successes. Sometimes I feel like the word "love" is overused.
3) If it is indeed 'love' and you want to see if it can go further, then take the first step. Because nothing good ever happens if you do nothing.

what did you do today? How are you?

Well, let's see.
Woke up this morning, Facetime-d my husband, ate brunch, cooked tomyam for late lunch, went out to the town with friends, binge-watched Twilight from Eclipse until the end, helped a friend with their resume, played Mario Kart, ate some more, and currently watching Kung Fu Panda.
All's in a good day, I'd say. :3

What celeb would you like to turn into for one day? 💫

Err, I have no idea. I don't do celebs and all that stuff. Too much pressure.

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How do you meet your husband?

I met him in INTEC Education College, back in July 2012 (if I get the month right, might've been end of June, but I can't remember).
I started my ADFP in INTEC as an Economics major, so I was placed in the non-science stream class (Eugene). I appealed to MARA to change my major to Actuarial Science, so after a month in Eugene, I was moved to the science stream class (Austin).
Aiman was in Austin, and we had to work on this group project for our Oral Communication class. Since I came to the class a month after the semester started, our lecturer (Mr Kamal) put me in his group because his group was the only one without a girl (there were only 7 of us in the class, most were guys because it's mostly Engineering students).
And things just started from there, I guess?

Do you consider yrself extremely lucky esp when it comes to academic stuffs? U seem to be getting everything u applied for. Things look so easy for you!!! Any tips ?

I wouldn't say I got "everything I applied for" (cue all the rejections I've had in the past, most recently was this past June). Lucky, most probably.
I'd probably say that most of what helped me get where I am now is my privilege. I'm aware of it. I'm aware of the privileges that I have in my life.
And, yes, it sucks, I know, and sometimes I hate it that I get better access to things because of my privilege, and it sucks, knowing that I have friends who deserve the same, if not better, but they are not able to do so because they were not born with the privileges that I've had.
I had the privilege of attending an English kindergarten, a high school in the UK, a top government boarding school (SBP) and a private international school - all of these built a strong foundation of who I am as a person.
I'm a Malay - that helped me get the MARA loan for my undergraduate studies, without which I wouldn't be able to go to the US and learn all the things I learnt there.
My parents are pretty well-off - that helped me finance things that I wouldn't be able to so on my own, like my Master's program now. They were able to get me experiences that typical Malaysian kids have before the age of 18yo, experiences of which shaped my view of the world.
This privilege of mine, it's a double-edged sword. One on hand, it gave me a good jumping off point in life. I think the way I do and I write the way I do because of all these collective experiences. But on the other, it sometimes means that I may have had it (quite) easy in life, which isn't helpful when all I want to do is to succeed on my own merit, on my own strengths.
So I can't really give any 'tips' to have an easy and/or lucky break in life, because the truth is, life isn't always fair. But, what I can say to people is to never give up, no matter what life throws at you.
If you were lucky enough to be born with privileges (big or small), accept it, acknowledge it, and by all means, you can use it to develop yourself further in life. You're entitled to it, but never look down on people who are less successful than you and think "Wow, they should've worked harder to improve themselves", because not everyone has the same privilege(s) that you have.
And if you were not so lucky in life, or that you have *less* privileges, do not worry. That is not the end of the world. Have faith in yourself, and find opportunities that can help you reach your goals. It may take you a little longer, or cost a little bit more, or require a tiny bit more effort, but, trust me, it will all be worth it. So just keep pushing it - you'll make it there some day.
[not sure if this is the answer you're looking for, but oh well]
oh, and p/s - don't believe everything you see on my social media. I tend to hid a lot of my failures, because, frankly, who would want to know about them, right?

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If you could turn back time, would you do it? Why?

Probably not. I've had some pretty bad issues with breakups and friendship problems in the past and I don't want to relive those again.

What is the most interesting thing you have in your purse/wallet?

Uhhh, nothing interesting, I guess. Receipts and coins and bank cards and all.

I was wondering why you didn't join tfm?

Well, I considered it.
I applied for it, was interviewed for it, went through the assessment centre and everything and got the offer for it.
I just didn't accept the offer.
Now, thinking back about it, I didn't have a solid answer on why I turned it down.
I mean, okay, it's partly because I was planning on pursuing my Master's studies, and the TFM Fellowship is a 2-year commitment and I was looking forward to going to graduate school between a year or two after graduating from my undergraduate. So, the timing and duration of it put me off a little, but I understand that most development programs like that usually take 1.5-3 years anyway (like CIMB's The Complete Banker, etc).
It's also partly due to the reason that I wanted to make sure that my reason for going into TFM Fellowship would be a solid good one. I (admittedly) applied because I was once a volunteer and a Campus Leader with TFM, so it was natural that i applied and join the Fellowship. It's like a rite of passage - that is what was expected of me.
But that reason is not good enough for me. I needed a strong and solid reason for joining, because I know that down the road, that solid reason will be the one that gives me the motivation to push harder and keep on going, despite how hard things go.
And honestly, I feel like the kids deserve more than that. They deserve someone who's willing to fight for them, to work hard for them, to help them be better. I don't think I was ready, that I was cut out for it.
I realized another thing as well that may be a factor into why I didn't accept the Fellowship offer. When I receive interview invitations from other positions that I was applying for (i.e. interview for a job at an international school in KL, or interview for a job at a private university in Selangor), I was definitely more excited than I was when I received the offer to the Fellowship.
And that made me think - why?
It's not that I don't support what TFM does. I do. I believe in their fight and their mission and I salute those who join the Fellowship and fight for the students. My friends are in the Fellowship and I couldn't be any prouder of them.
But I realize that maybe, that's not my own fight.
Not accepting the offer does not mean that I'm saying to the kids "You're on your own", or that I don't believe in what TFM's fighting for, or that I think it's a bad program.
It just means that I believe that I'm better suited for other things, that I'm meant to be somewhere else, that I need to fight a different fight.
I believe that the kids deserve better than what I could've offered to them (at the time when I made the decision to reject the offer), and they do.
It may be that in the future, I may feel ready to commit to the Fellowship (who knows, people change, right?), but as of now, it's just not a fight for me to join, and I think that's okay.

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What do you think about Education Consultant? Is it an interesting career?

There's different kinds of Education Consultant - depending on the organisations and countries.
For example:
1) Some people define "Education Consultant" as the people who talk to students about their education and guiding these students to potential tertiary and/or higher education, helping in researching courses/programs and universities and all that. Also known as Education Advisers in some places.
2) The other not-so-well-known Education Consultants will be consulting with schools, colleges and/or higher education institutions about ways to improve teaching and/or learning. This can range from like thinking about improving facilities and services, about developing new curriculum and syllabus, about course/program offerings and all.
Is it an interesting career?
Well, yes. It is an interesting career, for me at least. It may not be as interesting to other people who (1) have no interest in education / policy making / higher education / management, or (2) people who just hates working with students / colleges / schools.
It's a career path that sometimes may not pay as good (i.e. education advisers are not paid as much as people working in banking/finance/engineering industries), but for some people, that's okay. It does involve some form of travelling (to other schools, education fairs, etc), and it may not necessarily be a set 9-5 desk job, so you'll need to be flexible and independent.
But if you think you like it, by all means, go on ahead. :)

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How would you like to celebrate your next birthday?

Hmm, that'd be in August 2019. I'm hoping to have finish my dissertation by then, so hopefully I'd be able to celebrate it with a Europe trip with Aiman perhaps?

Who and what made you smile today ?

Aiman - always and forever.
Even though we're separated by thousands of miles and he's busy in Penang with his best friend's engagement and I'm busy on my first ever weekend shift at work, we can still find time to video / voice call each other, be it for a few short minutes, to catch up and talk to one another <3

What sort of things would you do to amuse yourself during a car journey?

Singalongs! I sing out loud to my music. Or put on anime on the background 😂

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