The past few years haven't been good to me. I've been sexually abused and then hurt repeatedly within relationships. Everthing has made me feel so rubbish about myself and got me thinking is is my fault people treat me like this. I'm not in a good place and I don't know what to do.

March 17, 2015

My dear you need to email me itsoloni@gmail.com but you will need much more help than what I can give.

The girl I'm going out with is so annoying, unsociable and she has anger problems. I don't know what to do. We've been going out for almost 2 years but Isn't know if she's the one

March 17, 2015

You just described her like you're tired of her. So be tired and leave.

Hi Oloni I've just been trying to get over and emotionally abusive relationship but I'm finding it very hard to realise my worth and date again. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on education too. What should I do?

March 17, 2015

You need time to heal. You can do so partly by showing yourself a ridiculous amount of love. Create your own value and note down deal breakers for the next relationship. Keep yourself occupied by focusing on the things you enjoy most. As for your education, you're going to simply do the best you can, it's important but going through emotional abuse can take away from your energy, so just do the best you can and like I say to many people..seek a councillor. Lots of universities offer councillors that can help and listen if you're having a rough time through education.

The guy I'm dating is away on a work trip, he's been gone for almost a month! We aren't speaking as much, but I just miss him weirdly enough because we haven't been dating for very long.

March 17, 2015

So date other people.

My boyfriend wants me to sit on his face but I'm very curious on how it might smell down there as its way to close for comfort

March 17, 2015

See a gynaecologist if you're worried.

I need help. These days I've really lost my sense of self. I'm unmotivated, lazy, don't go lectures or parties or anything. I feel isolated because I don't have much friends. How do I get back to being me?

March 17, 2015

Remind yourself why you're at uni. Do you remember why? Do you? Because if you've forgotten I can't help. Write a list..Jog your memory and remember the hard work you put in to get there. I had days when I honestly didn't think I would graduate till I realised where I wanted to be and the work I did prior to get there.

As for your social life, that will always have it's ups and down. You don't need many friends you need GOOD ones, make a step by creating those.

Hey, I'm the one that dated someone for 3months and he kinda got uninterested, hope u remember, thing is I've left him alone, but I still really like him and want him,what should I do?

March 17, 2015

If he's not interested you have to move on. There are plenty of guys out there for you to like instead, so find them.

I'm talking to a guy and he seems pretty cool and he's very confident with himself. When we pillow talk, sex tends to come up but he doesn't know that I want to be celebate. How to a break it to him that I dont plan to have sex anytime soon even though I feel ive led him on a bit :/

March 17, 2015

Let him know. 'I'm not planning on having sex any time soon' and perhaps steer away from the phone sex that equals mind games.

(2) when I tell him how upset it makes me, he goes on about how he just wants to be able to be young and spend time with his friends when he wants, without 'curfew' or me acting like his mum. Am I being unreasonable or do you think spending days away from me and home is normal/fine?

March 17, 2015

3 times a week? No one wants to nag their man, but surely he can see that's not reasonable if he has a partner he lives with. Talk to him about it and explain again how it makes you feel. If he's not understanding you need to think about your future with this one.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we also live together. Sometimes he will leave the house for three days at a time and only come home to quickly change. I'll be in the house by my self, sleeping by my self while he is out all night. I get really lonely and resent him when he leaves.

March 17, 2015

...

I've never been in a relationship before at the age of 21. Men approach me sometimes but usually are intimidated by me in some way. I don't know if it's my academics, my career choices or perhaps the way I speak but all my male friends say I'm difficult to approach. What can I do to seem more open?

March 16, 2015

Meet more people, by socialising at new events..some guys may be intimidated by all the things you mentioned but those are the ones we're not interested in, so don't sweat.

Are u single

March 16, 2015

Nope :-)

After a terrible exI'm dating a new guy who I'm very attracted to physically and mentally. In the bedroom we have a small issue: he doesn't finish, because I "go dry" before he can. This has never happened to me ( I'm normally "too wet"). I'm not sure why I keep going dry because the sex is great.

March 16, 2015

Try using lube

I tell him what I want regarding foreplay, but its almost as if its his way or he stops because he feels hes not doing a good job. Thats not the case, my taste has changed and i guess in a sense my body is growing. Its like hes not willing to take critisism or accept not everything he does i like

March 16, 2015

Tell him everything you've just told me.

Should a person you are interested in dating tell you about any physical attributes/ impairment or disability whilst you are still talking ? or should they wait until they are comfortable which maybe after a date? X

March 16, 2015

Till your comfortable.

My closest friend doesn't like my boyfriend and he doesn't like her either. They were friends before but after an argument they dont talk, I'm with her like almost everyday after college but when I tell her that I want to be with my bf, she says that I'm choosing him over her. What do I do?

March 16, 2015

She needs to grow up. It's that plain and simple. They don't have to like each other, but being cordial isn't asking for much.

My boyfriend is a Muslim, our families get on (we're all Yoruba which helps there's no clash of cultures) and his family don't care about me not being one but all of a sudden he's putting a condition on us getting married.. that I become a muslim. 4 years together and religion never came up!

March 16, 2015

Woahh. He's changing the rules, that's not allowed. Even though his parent didnt care it could still be pressure from them. It's very wrong that he is bringing this up as an issue years later. Honestly, it all depends on you. If he's adamant on his decision and his faith it's entirely up to you to walk with him in it, or walk away.

I've been seeing this guy and we spend ALOT of time together. Im a virgin but he isn't and whenever it does get hot and heavy I feel a little uncomfortable as im not ready to lose it, I don't know how to say this as im worried it will lead to the end of what could have been but he brings it up loads

March 16, 2015

Then avoid being in places where you both might get .. Horny. You don't have to tell him anything but if you do, the thought about him leaving should not be at the back of your mind. Instead it should be him understanding.

Hello Oloni. I'm seeing a guy, and my flatmate (who knows everyone's business) told me that a friend of mine used to date him. This friend knows im seeing him, and she was rather shocked and surprised when I told her, but she's never mentioned anything between them. What should I do?

March 16, 2015

If she hasn't mentioned that's there's a problem, then there clearly isn't.

I've only told a few close friends about what he tried to do. What else should I do

March 16, 2015

Report it! And see a councillor if need be.

I've been seeing this guy for about 5 months and it's been good but recently I feel like I've seen a change. We argue for silly reason, he says things like he doesn't trust or care about people and I'm not sure if something has changed him or if is his true colours showing....

March 16, 2015

True colours, run. 5 months is enough to know if that should or shouldn't turn into a relationship.

Is it possible to BECOME incompatible sexually or are we becoming lazy/bored. Been dating about a year and half, sex is amazing, new positions, still is going at up to 2/3 times a day. things are different its like ive lost my drive, can only climax one way, im not liking what he does anymore

March 16, 2015

You can become incompatible, you can also become very lazy. Introduce new ideas into the room. Are you skipping right to sex with 0 foreplay? Are you telling him what you enjoy?

Yes that's us, any advice?

March 16, 2015

Carry on following people and @ your pieces to them with gripping headlines.

I've seen seeing this guy for a few weeks now but I've noticed that he's had this bad odor coming from his man parts. I think he's really cool & want to continue seeing him but the smell is really putting me off. I want to tell him but don't know how without him being offended... Help?!

March 16, 2015

A few weeks? Uf you think it's worth it, You're going to have to be honest as there is no other way around it. None that I can think of. Politely say address it.

The only problem is that we are writing it anonymously so were unsure how else to promote it

March 16, 2015

Are you the new blog about 3 girls and sexuality?

Nothing here yet