@HollywoodDaddy

Hollywood Daddy

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I wish someone like my parents or teachers had noticed early on to try something before it got to the point it is now. I had a semi meltdown recently just having to let in painters paint a room in my house. I feel bitch made and want to change but I try and nothing changes.

Be open to the possibility that the anxiety/fear/etc. you experience now was passed on to you from your parents, and their parents. If your parents haven't acknowledged/addressed their own internal issues/limitations/dysfunctions, how would they identify/mitigate yours.
It's up to you. Being a victim of your past doesn't accomplish anything but continuing a cycle. Never stop moving forward, even when doing so means falling down and standing back up.
Fear/anxiety is a brick wall preventing you from your potential. It's okay to feel those feelings, but, you need to break through them like the kool-aid man on a cocaine and viagra binge.
Some people can push themselves. Many can't. If you're one of the latter, find someone trusted who can motivate you into going headstrong into the fear/anxiety.
It doesn't hurt to thank those types of people, in some way.

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What would be a good job for someone who can't seem to figure out how to deal with their social anxiety? I've seen doctors therapists etc and they either share "helpful" coping mechanisms or put me on drugs that do nothing or numb me. I was always like this. Used to hide from everyone at recess.

Recess was one of the most bittersweet times for me. As a kid, I was excited to go outside and play, you know, be a fucking kid, but, during those moments I felt the most alienated and alone--because I was. So I feel you.
I think a valid question to ask yourself is, why don't you feel safe around people.
Recently, I've come to the realization that it's more difficult to authentically express myself than buttfuck a rhinoceros on the beach. I've never felt safe around people; but the idea that one of the main motivations for this is because I don't feel safe enough to express my vulnerability/emotions/feelings is new and profound.
Honestly, there's no job that will allow you to be yourself. You'll always have to interact with people, in some way. In other words, there's always a connection, even in disconnection. Strongly encourage you to get a job that doesn't crush your soul while persistently working on self-actualization.
Eventually, you'll become a god.

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Do you think all drugs should be legal?

I think if one drug is legal, all should be legal. Drug morality is pretty stupid. The drugs themselves will dictate popularity and usage.
The strangle hold big pharma and the chemical corporations have on the world is real. Much of the little oblong tablets sold in the countless pharmacies of america are detrimental/lethal. And the obscene shit hidden inside of 'food' is killing everyone off. Doesn't take an academic to figure that out.

the answers i received on this ask.fm page over a year ago were like dropping a hydrogen bomb on my life. fortunately, i found life always rebuilds what it tears down. welcome back.

I'm glad you found some value in my opinions. I recently obliterated myself and have a new understanding, with me and the world, as well.
Glad to be back.
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Are there any conspiracy theories you believe to be true? Chemtrails or contrails?

I don't pay attention to stuff like this. I don't watch tv. Don't listen to the news. Don't subscribe to the stupid shit most people use to distract themselves from being alive.
I guess the only conspiracy i believe in these days is reality. Difficult to believe the world exists the way it does. You know?
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Do you think shamans still exist in america?

I used to know a guy named 'poison' who considered himself a shaman. He was a b-boy, as well. I liked him. He had a unique energy. I lost contact with him though.

but isn't the insatiable desire for empty validation the flipside of fear of disapproval, non-acceptance, humiliation, shame, etc? therefore, couldn't repeatedly exposing oneself to intense circumstances of public shame eliminate the desire for empty validation and purge the fear of disapproval?

I don't think so. Fear of disapproval, non-acceptance, humiliation, shame, etc. would manifest itself as politeness, submissiveness, contrition, etc. Do you like me is insecure narcissism.
For example, 'do you like me' comes from a Sam Pink interview on the 'other people' podcast--an ironic name. The host, Brad Listi, poses questions, then after receiving the answers, makes anecdotes/quips/mundane comments about himself. His underlying motivation is apparent--vampiric value/validation through external sources.
In other words, fuck expression, fuck art, fuck poetry, fuck music, fuck heart, fuck whoever you are and the pain/struggle/ballsweat which asserts your individuality...let's make sure we all understand why were here, so, like, 'do you like me?'
Most people don't care because they either are performing the same soulless act or compromising themselves for the sake of promotional crumbs.
The most disheartening aspect of 'the age of crumb' is the death of genuine expression. The majority of people are involved in a dick dance looking for some sort of acceptance/validation/attention and drown out the people authentically expressing the part of their mind/heart/soul that can't be vocalized or flock to the genuine artists like an army of starving fleas on a puppy and drain the person until they're defeated.
Bottom line: if you're creating something for the sake of acceptance/validation/money, you're participating in the cancer of 'do you like me.'

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can one purify oneself from the 'do you like me' by exposing oneself to intense public humiliation, over and over?

No. Do you like me is based on an insatiable desire for empty validation; a compromise of everything for nothing.
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How was bisquick the clown created?

A boygirl I dig is into clowns, like, really into them. Their enthusiasm motivated me to investigate.
I've always viewed clowns as pathetic, cutesy shitheads. I decided to push out of my comfort zone to see if i'd feel the same after being one. I really enjoyed it.
People react to clowns in a very dramatic way: either for or against. I feel safe in these types of interactions. There's no place for ambiguity or underhandedness.
I also enjoy being scary/creepy/lecherous as a clown. So much that I now wonder why it took me 39 years to wear the paint.
Gena does my makeup. I tried it on my own once and fuck...looked like a shamanic teenage mutant ninja turtle.
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How did you get the name Hollywood daddy

The name is from my days of hanging out with ravers half my age. I needed a 'scene name'. I picked 'Hollywood Daddy'. Seemed like the obvious choice since I lived in Hollywood and have been trying to father everyone/anyone for the past 25 years.
It's carried over into the kink world, as well. Along with my 'daddy' attributes.
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How does someone fight back against the age of crumbs and not become a crumbsnatcher?

Making your word matter, being authentic, giving a fuck about other people, giving a fuck about yourself so you can give a fuck about other people, standing for something, vulnerability and love.
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What did you mean when you said you 'lost your shit' that made you more interested in wan around age 30

At the age of 30, there was a culmination of circumstances that felt crushing, like the scene in 'Temple of Doom' where Indy and Short-round are trapped in the room with the descending ceiling lined with spikes.
A lifetime of despair, anguish, and self-loathing, the wake of a failed 10-year marriage with an abusive woman, the death of my grandmother and near death of my son, an opiate dependency, the foreclosure of an inherited childhood home, being fired from a lucrative career I created from my balls and mind, frequent, daily suicidal ideations, etc. etc. etc.
I was at a crossroads: succumb or fight. The latter seems like the obvious answer; but anyone familiar with long-standing agony/depression/apathy knows finding the strength to take a shit is a triumph during such times.
The feelings I had were so strong that reality became blurred, I began questioning my sanity. There were several points where I felt I had to fight the momentum or go full force into a psychotic breakdown.
I became strong to benefit the people around me. There weren't many; but I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. This is flawed thinking, because a person will always hurt others until they fully realize and be their worthiness.
Losing my shit entailed letting go of much of what caused me pain and encumbrance. A majority of which had to do with expectations of society and culture; a place i've never been welcomed or accepted. It also meant defining reality, not adhering to ambiguous direction from external sources.
I'm still 'fighting'. I've recently made a lot of progress. Would even posit that I 'lost my shit' again, at age 39; albeit in a different way than previous.

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What do you mean by, "age of crumbs" and "crumb snatchers"

The Age of Crumbs is the idea that we exist in a culture where people compromise everything for nothing: narcissism before expression, compassion, and thought. Babies have been breast fed by the milk of corporate sponsored television, film, and internet ads--ads masquerading as drama/ads masquerading as art/ads masquerading as music/ads masquerading as self-help/etc.--and its influence is overwhelming.
The shift in thinking is so great that crumb snatching is shamelessly embraced. Acts like begging for money to pay bills a person was too careless to pay on their own, 24/7 posturing broadcasted to the internet, blind support out of fear, the death of authentic expression, the extinction of genuine love; etc. are rampant now.
It comes down to neediness. People don't believe in their worth or value. They're stuck in an insanely selfish loop of foraging for brief moments of empty validation. I think being liked and wanting to be liked are different distinctions. The latter is the current addiction.
The pathetic part is we're all aware of what's going on, maybe on different levels of understanding. It's a comfort zone. People don't want to make a stand for a difference or another person. Doing so means they'll tacitly acknowledge the shittiness they're engaging in; and it's much easier to pretend to not be shitty and be shitty, than step forward and say 'damn, i'm sorry...i've been shitty, like the rest of you. I want something better. I'm tired of reeking like shit, eating shit, dreaming shit, being shit. Fuck the emptiness of narcissim. I want to like myself, for once. My power is more than this. I'm a god, not an instagram celebrity.'
This is the age of crumbs. It's only getting worse. But it doesn't have to.

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Religion, Jobs, Recreational Activities, Etc. Are they all there simply to stop us from thinking that there's no meaning to any of it?

ncc115
There is meaning to existence, I think. I spoke on the subject in the first few questions of this ask.fm. Go read the archive.

have you ever liked someone who didn't like you back and felt hurt, and/or do you see that as weak willed? or is "do you like me" more about criticizing people overly concerned with popularity in general?

Yeah, unrequited liking was my entire childhood.
The 'do you like me' generation, aka the age of crumbs, is a different mindset altogether. For example, If I was a millenial during my childhood, I would be superficially liked by everyone because not doing so would be a threat to perceived social ranking (gasp!).
The core of the issue now is that people compromise everything for nothing. Nobody stands for shit anymore and willing to act like circus monkeys for empty, momentary attention.
The instantaneous/perpetual availability of social media has ensured an existence of bitchmade waffles, high hats, and chillniks.
Everything isn't okay. This world is disgusting. And, the only people who seem to be branded as 'bad' are the few who speak out against it.
People are such cowards now. It's en vogue to be a systematizer over an individual. The issue with this mindset is that there's so many variables in our modern culture that everyone is insecure about their complacency and constantly passively asserting themselves. It's just pathetic.
Like, have some dignity, people. For real.
Shout out and much love to the ostracized few who are willing to struggle through life on their own terms. It's a lonely path.

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What do you think people are doing when they try to be close to someone who is a celebrity? I see a lot of people doing this. It reminds me of the people that tried to weasel next to the cool people in school. Are they trying to get some sort of power through association or is it a genetic response?

I'm failing to understand what you mean by 'being close'. A celebrity is a fictitious entity, something that's almost completely existent in the abstract. Like, there's a physical form--one that's almost never seen and barely resembles the projected--but it's elusive and clandestine.
I think most people don't have the ability to understand what's earnest or exclusively manipulative. The latter is what most confuse as the former. Like, fuck man... I don't even want to get into it. The average human mind isn't that powerful and any shit weasel with an above average iq can be a puppeteer.
People are fucking dumb. That's my final answer.

If you were given the ability to choose a public figure (actor, politician, etc.) who would no longer be able to speak, who would you choose and why?

I'm an individualist. I don't think anyone should be silenced, and, objectively, one person isn't saying anything more/less persuasive than another.
Most people are weak minded and absorb information without question, then make piecemeal internalizations and treat what's obviously not genuine or truthful as honesty. I mean, people actually think sex is like porn or a quality relationship is similar to an episode of 'friends' or a zombie apocalypse is a tangible future or twitter feeds aren't staged or politicians are altruistic or viral videos aren't fake as fuck.
If I had a wish, it'd be to help strengthen people's minds, not silence someone.
Shit ain't gonna happen though. We're just progressing towards a hive existence thanks to the instantaneous availability of modern media.
The only real hope to change our future is struggle.
It's going to come,eventually. It always does.

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