carniv♡re girl

They wake up past noon in a shitty Las Vegas motel, tangled in the bedsheets in more of a deathtrap sort of way than sensually. "I feel like death warmed over," Sunggyu mutters, rubbing at his face blearily. "Do I even want to know what happened last night?"

---

Woohyun sits up in the bed, thinking it over for a few seconds. "I believe we may have gotten married," he says. "I have the distinct memory of thinking that was a really good idea."

---

"Hahahaha," Sunggyu says, before turning around and glaring. "Don't fuck around with me, Nam Woohyun, that joke wasn't even funny."

---

"No, really, I wasn't joking," Woohyun replies blankly. "I swear, I remember this. There was a certificate. It took you three tries to sign it right because you couldn't figure out how the pen worked."

---

Woohyun wouldn't carry on a shitty prank like that for so long, Sunggyu knows. He sinks back under the covers, groaning as he covers his eyes with his hands. "What the actual fuck," he groans. "I really need a drink."

---

"That's how all of this started in the first place," Woohyun points out.

---

"I am not in the mood for logic," Sunggyu replies. "Be a good husband and get me a drink." He pauses, before laughing bitterly. "I just unironically told you to be a good husband. That's what my life is coming to -- marriage with Nam Woohyun. The epitome of domestic bliss, I'm sure."

---

Woohyun actually winces. "I'll get you a drink," he says. "Just... stop that train of thought right there. /Please./"

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- - -

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i'm sorry, this prompt was so cute and this was... not.... cute at all... D:

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Baekhyun is 19 when he receives his first personal android, the CY1127, a model with a known tendency to move around jerkily at times and react a bit strangely at unfamiliar inputs. "It's very charming," Joonmyun says in his polite voice, just as CY1127 bumps into the edge of a table and nearly knocks over the two glasses of water it had been carrying.

---

"I do think it's very charming, actually," Baekhyun replies.

---

"You know, SME just came out with the WYF90," Joonmyun says. CY1127 offers him a glass and smiles very widely -- the expression is something straight out of the uncanny valley, and Baekhyun has to stifle a laugh as Joonmyun tries not to react. He clears his throat and goes on: "I hear that model's quite good."

---

"Oh, but -- I like this one." Baekhyun smiles, patting CY1127 on its arm as it passes him the other glass. "CY1127 has character."

---

"Yes," Joonmyun murmurs. "Character is a good word for it."

---

- - -

---

Two years later, when Baekhyun moves into a new apartment, his parents take him out to buy a second android as a housewarming present. He settles on the infamously unpopular HZT93: a test for later models, SME had experimented a bit more with the HZT93 than usual, leaving it with a habit of repeating actions and being too literal in interpreting commands. After CY1127, though, none of his friends are particularly surprised at his unconventional choice.

---

"I begin to think you picked based off of what everybody else hates," Sehun comments after Baekhyun mentions his new personal android.

---

"I really like this model," Baekhyun replies, wrinkling his noise slightly. "Why is that so hard for everybody to believe?"

---

Sehun sighs. "To each their own, I guess," he says.

---

- - -

---

HZT93 and CY1127 have opposing acquisition systems. Whereas CY1127 learns from doing and is programmed to try as many different things as possible, HZT93 is far more passive and does more of its learning from observation. "I don't think you thought this through," Jongdae informs him as CY1127 and HZT93 clash over how to prepare tea in the kitchen. HZT93 is bent on serving it with a dab of honey (as is how Baekhyun normally takes it), whereas CY1127 attempts to add in milk and sugar (probably, Baekhyun imagines, because he had left the TV on to some old British movie the night before).

---

"Whatever," Baekhyun replies, propping his head up on his hands as he watches CY1127 intercept HZT93 in the middle of pouring honey into the teapot. "This is kinda fun, isn't it?"

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i don't remember the new dorm arrangements so pretend it's still xiutao, krishan, chenxing

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- - -

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Yixing stuffs the cat into his backpack and Zitao distracts Kris by pushing him into the kitchen as they walk in so that Yixing can dart into his room and let it out -- not a moment too soon, because the moment he unzips his bag, the cat comes darting out with a hiss. "Sorry," Yixing mutters, but the cat turns up its nose and ignores him. Yixing sighs and briefly reflects upon what a poorly thought-out plan this was.

---

A few minutes later, Zitao opens the door and closes it behind him quickly. "Is the cat alright?" he asks anxiously. Yixing nods and gives him a thumbs-up; Zitao sighs.

---

"But what are we supposed to do with it now?" Yixing asks blankly, plopping down on his bed as he watches the cat pace back and forth on the floor. "What is it going to eat? ... Where is it going to poop? How am I going to tell Jongdae?"

---

Zitao wrinkles his nose. "Well," he says. For a few moments, he mouths words, but nothing comes out -- eventually he gives up and shrugs.

---

"We can't keep this a secret forever," Yixing murmurs. The cat has finally calmed down a little and settled down in the corner. "Or, like -- even for more than a few more hours."

---

"We'll get Jongdae hyung in on it too!" Zitao blurts out suddenly, before turning to glance anxiously at the door -- the walls are thin, after all. "And, and... newspaper? We can line the floor with newspaper. And feed him scraps."

---

There's a moment of silence as they both stare solemnly at each other, before there's the sound of something ripping in the corner. "I am going to pretend that was not the sound of the the cat tearing the wallpaper to shreds," Yixing murmurs, closing his eyes and massaging his temples with his fingers. "Yes. I am going to pretend this is not happening."

---

"We couldn't just leave it there," Zitao says weakly. The cat continues making confetti out of the wallpaper.

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this is hard to answer, anon... feel free to take any and all of this with a grain of salt, because i'm pretty sure i'm biased, but ig my main m.o. in life is to be kind when there is a chance to be kind. which is something not be mistaken for being a pushover, because when it comes to the things i believe in, i tend to believe in them strongly. i'm not particularly optimistic but i try to be positive and assume the best. i feel an urge to finish things as quickly as possible when i begin them. studying as an econ major has made me practical to a fault (opportunity costs!!), yet somehow i almost always have my head in the clouds somewhere. i'm a bit self-conscious and keep my negative emotions pent up, but lately i've been getting better about all of those things, and i think that's what really matters. mostly, i try to move through life being content with who i am.

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nhi, this is dedicated to you and tian for our late-night discussion on how badly woobin must be crying every night over "no breathing" being every fangirl's fap fodder (but woobin's ultimate boner killer)

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- - -

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The first stage of grief is denial. "Did you hear about Jongsuk's new movie?" Soohyuk texts him.

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Woobin has heard /all about/ Jongsuk's new movie, especially the part where Jongsuk will be swimming half-naked in it alongside Seo Inguk and /not him/. "No," he texts back.

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"It's about swimming," Soohyuk replies. "Jongsuk is training a lot for it, I bet he's gonna get super fit."

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(He could practically throw his phone out the window with how frustrated he is.) "That's nice," he texts.

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"Seo Inguk is costarring," Soohyuk texts back. "It'll be really popular with teenage girls, I'm sure."

---

"That's nice," Woobin replies. Maybe if he doesn't think about it, it'll be the same thing as if it doesn't exist.

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"Let's watch it together when it comes out and make Jongsuk come with us and embarrass him when he shows up shirtless kekeke," Soohyuk texts.

---

Woobin tosses his phone across the room and refuses to answer anymore.

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- - -

---

The second stage of grief is anger. "Why," he mutters to himself. "Why not me. Why Seo Inguk? What does Seo Inguk have that I don't? A singing career? I could have a singing career."

---

His manager clears his throat. "No," he says. "No, you really couldn't."

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"It should be me," Woobin says. "/Why was it not me./"'

---

Everybody politely gives him a wide berth as he continues to fume.

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- - -

---

The third stage of grief is bargaining, but Woobin can't think of a lot of good deals to make, to be honest. Instead, he angrily surfs the internet and hate-reads all the fan hype over "No Breathing." A few weeks into shooting, Jongsuk texts him and they meet up for coffee: "You're going to come watch the movie, right?" Jongsuk says, looking so terribly earnest in asking.

---

Woobin tries his best to say no, but Jongsuk smiles and his dumb scumbag mouth opens up and replies, "Yeah, of course I will. How could I not?"

---

"Great!" Jongsuk says, and beams so brightly that Woobin almost feels kind of shitty for being so upset. (The feeling goes away after about 0.5 seconds, though.)

---

- - -

---

The fourth stage of grief is depression. "Everybody is going to be able to see Jongsuk's bare chest," he whispers to his pillow. "That bare chest which should be reserved for my eyes alone. And Seo Inguk is probably going to be touching him when he doesn't have a shirt on."

---

His pillow doesn't respond.

---

- - -

---

(ctd)

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The big project for juniors in the dance department is always a collaboration between two different dance styles, so naturally, Sehun and Jongin pair up for it. Two weeks into the project, they both regret it. "Look, I know that the whole pop-and-lock thing works for hip-hop, but ballet is smoother than that," Jongin says, frowning as he attempts to forcibly adjust Sehun's arm placement. "Is there no such thing as smooth hip-hop?"

---

"It might exist, but this is my style," Sehun replies. No matter how hard Jongin pushes down on his arm, Sehun refuses to move it. "Look, I already did away with the hip movement because it rustled your jimmies so badly, let me at least keep what I can."

---

"The hip movements would have been a fucking travesty right after a plie," Jongin says, a little too quickly and insistently. "Tell me honestly you thought that thrusting your crotch all over the place was going to look nice and classy."

---

Sehun rolls his eyes. "Hip-hop isn't nice or classy," he replies flatly. "It's street dancing, Jongin."

---

"Don't act as if you're the only one giving things up, okay," Jongin says. "You already got your way on the footwork, I think you can give me some leeway on the arms."

---

"My whole /thing/ is pop-and-lock, Jongin. If you don't give me at least this much, it's not even a collaboration anymore! It's just ballet in different clothes!" Sehun throws his hands up and sighs loudly. "You know what, let's call it a day."

---

"Fine," Jongin says.

---

"/Fine,/" Sehun echoes.

---

- - -

---

even tho they're like this, they're still the best of friends outside the project :') they separate work and play :')

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i hope you don't mind, but i reversed it: in interviews jongsuk is always talking about how shy he was in school and how much his dad pressured him to uphold a very "masculine" image so i kind of went with that in writing girl!jongsuk. i also couldn't decide if i liked woobin/girl!jongsuk or girl!woobin/jongsuk more so here, have both :')

---

for reference: jongsuk --> jungsoon; woobin --> yubin

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- - -

---

Jungsoon's school uniform is always neat and unwrinkled, and her nails are a different color every week: last week was a coral orange, the week before light green. This week they're a lavender purple, just a few shades away from gray, and Woobin's not entirely sure why he notices these things, but he thinks it might be because he thinks she's pretty. "Do you have a partner for the history project yet?" he asks, knowing perfectly well that Jungsoon was out the day the projects were assigned and couldn't possibly have a partner yet. "Let's pair up."

---

She blinks a few times. "Okay," she says. "If that's alright with you."

---

"Let's trade numbers, then," he replies.

---

"Okay," she echoes, hesitating for a moment before she pulls out her phone and unlocks the screen, wordlessly handing it over so he can put his number in. A few seconds later, she sends him a text:

---

This is Jungsoon.
Let's work hard together! :)

---

How cute, he thinks to himself. She'd be popular if she talked more.

---

- - -

---

"You're not very ladylike, are you," Jongsuk says wryly as Yubin sprawls herself over the desk next to him. Her legs are propped up on the chair, just far apart enough that it'd be obscene except that she's wearing sweatpants underneath her skirt.

---

She grins and shrugs. "Does that bother you or something?" she asks.

---

"Nah," he replies, grinning slightly as he teases her: "I was just thinking, you'd be cuter if you'd do something about that manly personality of yours."

---

"Don't lie, you like it," she says, reaching over and tapping him on the arm with her fist.

---

He does, actually, but mostly he just likes /her./

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There's a man who comes by every day to pick up Lee Minyoung, and Woobin thinks that he has a nice smile. He knows he probably shouldn't have thoughts like that about a man with a child, though. "Your daughter's very well behaved," Woobin says one afternoon, watching as the tall stranger reaches to pick a sleepy Minyoung up. She dozes off not seconds afterwards, head leaning gently against his chest.

---

"Thank you," he says. "But she's not mine -- my sister's, actually. But I agree, she's a great kid."

---

"Your sister's?" Woobin asks, a bubbly, hopeful sort of feeling suddenly blooming in his chest. "You two must look a lot alike. You and Minyoung have the same face."

---

He laughs. "Yeah, I get that a lot. And she's really busy, so I'm the one who takes care of her most of the time, which probably doesn't help." There's a pause, before he asks, "You're Minyoung's teacher, right?"

---

Woobin nods. "My name's Kim Woobin," he says, hoping his attempt to get the stranger's name isn't too transparent.

---

"It's a pleasure to meet you. My name's Lee Jongsuk -- and I'd offer you my hand, but they're kind of occupied right now." He smiles apologetically. "I should bring her back home and put her down now, I think. It was nice talking to you, songsaenim. Good afternoon!"

---

Jongsuk's already gone before Woobin can collect himself enough to say, 'you don't have to call me songsaenim.' Next time, he vows to himself. And maybe next time he can figure out if Jongsuk is single, too.

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He expects Woohyun to make a snide comment about having all the main vocals to himself, but Sunggyu constantly forgets that /he's/ the abrasive one, not Woohyun. "I could make you some soup," Woohyun offers. "What's good for a sore throat... chicken soup, I think? I could make you some chicken soup."

---

Sunggyu's not hungry, but he doesn't ever turn down an offer for free food when it comes his way. "I'll make you a cup of tea, too," Woohyun says, "with honey and lemon. Oh, wait -- you don't like lemon, right, hyung? Just honey, then. Is that alright?"

---

Sunggyu nods; Woohyun grins. "Great! Just wait here and I'll bring it to you when it's ready," he says. "Or come and get me, if there's anything else you need in the meanwhile."

---

He wishes he could say 'thank you,' but he literally can't. Instead, he pulls at the hem of Woohyun's shirt and smiles -- for a moment, he's not sure if Woohyun understands, but then Woohyun grins in return. "Just glad to be of help, hyung," he says.

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prefacing this with: i know nothing about jongbin's model friends' personalities, i am sorry

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- - -

---

Woobin invites Soohyuk out for coffee to break the news, carefully beating around the bush for a while before finally getting straight to it: "Jongsuk and I are going out," he says, then quickly takes a sip to excuse himself from having to say anything more.

---

"Yeah, I know," Soohyuk replies.

---

Woobin almost spits his coffee out. "What?" he asks, rather blankly.

---

"I knew that already," Soohyuk says, sounding rather amused. "I'm pretty sure everybody and their mom knew that already, actually. You two are like that sickeningly sweet couple in high school, you know what I mean?"

---

"Oh," Woobin replies.

---

Soohyuk reaches over and dabs at the side of Woobin's face with a napkin. "You're drooling coffee," he explains. "So, what's the big news that you wanted to tell me about?"

---

"That was it," Woobin says. He's not sure if he's relieved or not a little embarrassed. "That was the news."

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Where the Crown Prince Joonmyun's public image is rather nondescript, Prince Jongin is well-known across the country for being exceptionally well-read in philosophy, an excellent dancer, quite handsome, and (most prominently) an avid frequenter of weekend night parties. People have a tendency to forget about everything else in light of the last fact, though.

---

It's another day where a tabloid magazine has published Jongin's picture on the front page. "I'm running out of things to tell you," Joonmyun says, a tinge of desperation in his tone. "You do realize you're second in line to the throne, right? And that people are watching our every move? And that whatever you do --"

---

"Reflects upon the royal family," Jongin cuts in. "Yes, I am aware. You tell me this almost every day."

---

"But I'm not convinced that the words are going into your brain," Joonmyun replies. "Strip poker, Jongin. In a public location. Did you really not think to yourself that it could potentially go wrong?"

---

Jongin shrugs. Joonmyun sighs.

---

- - -

---

kai is definitely not prince harry and suho is definitely not prince william what

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a few disjointed snippets for this au:

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- - -

---

Sungjong meets with Hoya for the first time in 1908 in the outskirts of Seoul. "I've heard rumors about an old man who still looks like a teenager," Hoya says, with a light Busan accent tinging the edges of his words. "Is that you?"

---

"You're speaking rather informally to somebody who might actually be in his eighties, aren't you?" Sungjong replies dully.

---

For a second, Sungjong thinks that Hoya's baring his fangs -- but then he realizes it's a smile. "Not at all," Hoya says. "I'm at least two hundred years old myself."

---

/Oh,/ Sungjong thinks.

---

- - -

---

Two years later, Korea is annexed by Japan. "Told you we should've left after the war," Sunggyu mutters, tapping his fingers against his other arm as he sits in a tiny, cramped restaurant. "This is all going to go a bad way, I just know it."

---

On the other side of the table, pays him no mind. "You always say we should leave," he points out.

---

"Yes," Sunggyu snaps. "That's because we /should,/ but you two always want to stay."

---

"This is home," Dongwoo says, patting him on the arm lightly. "Do you really want to go?"

---

"Anyway, when did Woohyun say that he was going to meet up with us? We've been waiting for a while," Sunggyu replies, changing the subject abruptly.

---

Dongwoo smiles and shrugs; Sunggyu sighs sharply. "Don't worry about it," Dongwoo reassures him. "It's not like we're ever running out of time, right?"

---

- - -

---

The emperor dies in 1919. Myungsoo and Sungyeol happen to find themselves in the middle of the rallies that erupt in early March. "I think we should leave Seoul right now," Myungsoo says. He's trying to sound calm, but Sungyeol's known him for so long that the little things always give him away: the terse way he carries himself, as if readying himself to run at any second, holding his elbows in and shoulders out.

---

"No, let's stay a while longer," Sungyeol replies. "Hoya said he'd come to meet up with us. We should wait for him, before we do anything. Besides, where would we go?"

---

Myungsoo sighs. "I just have a bad feeling," he says. "Like something big is going to happen. Something we should avoid, if we can."

---

"You and Sunggyu hyung are always like that," Sungyeol comments lightly.

---

"Sunggyu hyung's seen a lot of things already," Myungsoo replies. "It's like a sixth sense for him now, I think. Knowing when these things are about to happen. Didn't he tell us to leave Seoul the last time we saw him?"

---

Sungyeol scoffs. "When does Sunggyu hyung /not/ tell us to leave Seoul?"

---

"But he always ends up being right," Myungsoo points out. Sungyeol can't argue, because it's true.

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