carniv♡re girl

Baekhyun's thing is industrial decay, so for his senior portfolio, he decides to drive across the U.S. to take photos of abandoned train stations. "Industrial decay is an awfully fancy term for taking photos of decrepit old buildings," Sehun mumbles as he helps Baekhyun set up his lighting.

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"I'm not paying you to talk, Sehun," Baekhyun replies. "The lamp needs to be pointed a little more that way -- a little more -- yeah, that's good, stop there."

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"You aren't paying me at /all,/" Sehun says, but Baekhyun is too busy fiddling with his camera lenses to pay attention. He sighs and sits down on an old metal bench as he waits for Baekhyun to finish whatever it is he's doing, wondering if the rust will leave red marks on his pants. The station is kind of creepy, he thinks. Definitely not worth the drive all the way to Michigan just to take some pictures of, in his humble opinion -- but then, he supposes, he's not the photographer between the two of them.

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The first festival they both play at in 2012 is Coachella, and it's only then -- over a year after they first meet -- that Woobin comes to realize just how distant Jongsuk is. He watches as Jongsuk drifts around backstage, presence so transitory that barely anybody turns a head when he passes. It's something beyond just being shy, it's more as if he can erase his very tracks of existence if he wants to. The only people who notice him are the people who take care to notice him: his bandmates, the techies working with S13. Woobin.

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He has to wonder how somebody like that ever decided they wanted to go into an industry where everybody is always watching. "Hey," Woobin says as Jongsuk passes a few feet away.

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Jongsuk seems a little surprised; Woobin usually isn't the one to initiate conversation. "Hello," he replies.

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"You're walking around alone," Woobin comments. "Still not many friends, I take it?"

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"I guess so," Jongsuk says. He doesn't seem particularly bothered by it, though. "Why're you wondering, though?"

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"Hey -- I'm your friend, right? You think of me as your friend. Why is that?" Woobin asks suddenly.

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He tilts his head and sucks at his lower lip a few moments, thinking very deliberately before answering: "Sometimes, you just get a good feeling about a person," he finally answers. "That's all there is to it, really."

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- - -

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Woobin pays close attention to S13 when they perform this time. He's never really bought into the idea that the instrument one chooses to play reflects personality, but with Jongsuk, he can see it: unassuming, subtle, constant, consistent. Important, but quiet in its importance. When Jongsuk's on stage, all eyes seem to go straight to him, even though he's not the main singer or lead guitarist, but he seems like he barely notices it -- but that, Woobin thinks, is probably why people are drawn to him. He never expected to be looked at in the first place.

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Typhoon's third album is released March '12, titled "chrysanthemums" after the lead single. In Rolling Stone's review, a tentative parallel is drawn between "chrysthansemums" and Panic! at the Disco's infamously bold move of dropping of their exclamation mark. "Just as Pretty. Odd.'s throwback to dreamy, Beatles-inspired music was unexpected, Typhoon's turn to a different sound comes by surprise," the article reads. "One hopes that this doesn't end for Typhoon as it did for Panic! at the Disco." It's not at all an appropriate example to draw on -- or at least, Woobin thinks so. At the very least, he doesn't feel like a group split over differing musical interests is coming anytime soon.

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They go on tour two weeks after the album comes out. Sales of "chrysanthemums" quickly tops their previous record, and the single is well-taken by the public. Their second stop is somewhere in Pennsylvania, and they happen to cross paths with S13.

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"You've gone acoustic," Jongsuk comments, bass guitar slung in its case across his back.

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Acoustic, according to every music review on the Internet, is more of S13's thing than Typhoon's. "Problem with that?" Woobin asks.

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Jongsuk shrugs. "Doesn't matter, really. Chrysthansemums sounds very much like a Typhoon song to me, electric guitars or acoustic." There's a pause as he shifts the case slightly -- "Are you playing tomorrow?"

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Woobin nods; Jongsuk smiles vaguely and steps past him.

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- - -

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They meet up a few hours after the concert's done. Woobin's still decked out in his stage performance clothes (dark and skintight, but surprisingly covered-up), whereas Jongsuk looks casual as can be in a loose T-shirt and jeans, looking almost like he'd drifted in without realizing exactly where he was going. "Chrysanthemums sounds better live," he says.

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"We don't usually talk about music when we meet like this," Woobin replies. "Let's not start now."

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So Jongsuk leans in and puts a hand on Woobin's chest, tilting his head up to meet Woobin half-way -- the kiss is more gentle than their kisses usually are, and Jongsuk's lips are drier than he remembered them being.

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- - -

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tbc but later i need to do homework /o\

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The first thing he notices when Jongsuk sits down next to him is that Jongsuk's a lot paler during the winter, and his lips are even more chapped. "Hey," Jongsuk says. "How's it going?"

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Woobin shrugs. "I can't talk about things until they're done," he answers. "I thought you were touring on the West Coast."

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"Have you been paying attention?" Jongsuk asks, and smiles. He orders a shot of whisky on the rocks and Woobin, vodka. By about one in the morning, Woobin's drunk enough that body shots sound like a great idea, and Jongsuk's equally drunk enough to agree.

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"We are rock stars," Jongsuk slurs as Woobin shakes salt onto his neck. "Living life on the edge."

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"Body shots are not living life on the edge," Woobin wants to say, but he wants to put his mouth on Jongsuk's neck more, so he does that instead.

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- - -

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it's late and idek what i'm typing anymore so i'm stopping here u___u

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They meet a few more times at other places, but they don't talk much, mostly preferring to occupy their mouths with other business if they happen to see each other -- the first time they have a real conversation is at Lollapalooza in early August. Typhoon is an official performer, S13 is not. "We're seeing and being seen, I guess?" Jongsuk says when Woobin asks what he's doing backstage if his band's not even playing. "One of my bandmates is close to somebody in Titus Andronicus, I think. And I wanted to meet Muse."

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Woobin wants to meet Muse, too, but he's pretty sure Muse isn't anywhere nearby. Maybe not even in the same building. "So what're you doing here?" Woobin asks.

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Jongsuk shrugs. "I don't have a lot of friends in the industry, outside of my bandmates," he says, rather casually for somebody admitting he doesn't have friends. "Thought I'd come hang out with you."

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"And I'm your friend?" Woobin asks.

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"I think you are," Jongsuk says. He's probably the kind of guy who wants to stay friends with all his exes, Woobin thinks to himself, completely oblivious how supremely awkward that can be, especially when one gets a new significant other.

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"And here I thought we were just hook-up partners," Woobin comments.

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Jongsuk smiles and spreads his hands out in some universal sign of peace-offering. "We're friends," he says, with a certain calm confidence to his words. "And also we hook up. Nothing wrong with that, right? It's very progressive and sexually liberated."

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Woobin's not sure if that's cute or weird. "I don't know anything about you," he replies, "except that you play for S13, which is apparently Typhoon's rival."

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"And you don't have to," Jongsuk says. "I don't mind, really."

---

They don't even hook up that time -- all the talk of friendship leaves Woobin a little too confused to try.

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- - -

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During the winter, Typhoon takes a break to start on their third album while S13 continues touring, mostly on the West Coast. Woobin goes almost two months without seeing Jongsuk in person, but then, he gets a text: "in nyc now. let's meet up. drinks?"

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He texts back, "where did you get this number?" Jongsuk's non-answer is "haha" and a winky-face. Woobin knows he should beat around the bush for a few more texts, but he ends up giving in far too quickly: "XXXX bar, 10:30pm, don't be late."

---

- - -

---

tbc

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Woobin can sum up everything he knows about Jongsuk like this: pretty quiet. Nice smile, slightly chapped lips, good kisser. Plays the bass guitar and has a soft singing voice, perfect for back-up vocals. His band is a bit too folksy for Woobin's tastes, but their genres are close enough that every relevant music magazine has declared them to be equal rivals since both their debuts in early 2011. (It takes a few too many shots of Bacardi for Jongsuk to whisper into Woobin's ear, "Actually, I think we're getting a little overly Mumford & Sons on some of our songs, if you know what I mean.") But when they meet, they don't usually talk about music -- that's what the stage is for.

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The first time they meet, Woobin's band is on its first tour, and Jongsuk's has just debuted a month ago. "Nice to meet you," Jongsuk says, smiling distantly as he holds his hand out. His hair's ruffled up in the back -- not so much in a way that suggests cool apathy, but rather that he hadn't had time to brush it after rolling out of bed in the morning.

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"And you're S13's bassist," Woobin replies, shaking Jongsuk's hand lightly. "Nice to meet you, too."

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They end up making out backstage not three hours later. Something about those lips, Woobin thinks to himself dazedly. It more or less sets the tone for the rest of their relationship.

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- - -

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The second time they meet is in Newport. "I think we're not supposed to fraternize," Jongsuk says lightly. "Everybody seems to think we're at each others' musical necks." (It's probably no coincidence, Woobin will think afterwards, that Jongsuk leaves a neat trail of marks down his neck later.)

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"We barely even know each other," Woobin replies.

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Jongsuk smiles and shrugs before asking suddenly, "What set is Typhoon playing this time?"

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There's a pause before he answers. "Just a few songs," he answers. "Our newest single, of course, and our debut single, too. Mostly slower songs, I think."

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"I see," Jongsuk says. By some coincidence, S13 also plays a set of mostly slower songs.

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- - -

---

They cross paths somewhere in Upstate New York next, after just weeks S13 has released another song. Pitchfork has written quite the article lauding it, and all of Typhoon grudgingly must admit -- it's a good song. "Congratulations on avoiding sophomore slump," Woobin says as they pass each other backstage.

---

Jongsuk stops and turns. "Thank you," he replies. It's very sincere.

---

"Not going to play the same kind of set we're playing again, are you?" Woobin asks dryly.

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Somehow, Jongsuk looks a little surprised. "Were you bothered by that?" he asks. "I thought it was just a harmless joke. Just for fun, and, you know -- it gets attention, when our bands play off of each other like that."

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Woobin shrugs. Any publicity is good publicity, he supposes, but he thinks maybe getting caught kissing S13's bassist might be pushing that a little.

---

- - -
tbc

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Joonmyun enrolls into law school the year Jongin is set to graduate from high school. "We'll be going into university together," Joonmyun comments off-handedly. "That won't be weird for you, will it?"

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Jongin shrugs. "We'll be at different universities, in different departments," he says. He keeps making vague insinuations that he'd like to study math, but Joonmyun knows it's a cover, and that Jongin's convinced Joonmyun would never let him concentrate in what he really wants to.

---

"Me in law and you in dance, huh?" Joonmyun says.

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Jongin startles and turns to stare at Joonmyun, eyes wide with surprise. "You knew?" he asks.

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Joonmyun smiles slightly and reaches forward to ruffle his bangs. "'Course I did," he replies. "You're my kid brother, I know everything about you. Especially the stuff you don't want me to know."

---

"Annoying," Jongin mumbles, but he doesn't shy away from Joonmyun's touch.

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A conversation Sumin has with her future on-again off-again boyfriend at the age of eight in the playground sandbox: "So you have two dads," Jaesun says. "But then, who cooks dinner at night?"

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Sumin blinks. "What?" she asks.

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"Moms are supposed to cook the dinner at night," Jaesun says. "Like on the television, moms always do that kind of stuff."

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"I don't think that's how it works," Sumin replies, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Both of my dads cook dinner."

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"But does it taste good? Like a normal dinner?" Jaesun asks.

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Sumin throws her bucket down into the sand and gets up. "It tastes like a normal dinner! Because! It is!! A normal dinner!!" she announces, not even realizing how loud she's being until she notices people looking at her. She coughs and sits back down in the sandbox.

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"Okay, okay," Jaesun says. He looks mildly alarmed.

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"It's normal," Sumin repeats. (Later, Jaesun appeals to her by offering her a stick of string cheese, and she mostly forgives him.)

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- - -

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Eight is an impressionable age, and even though she is convinced there is nothing wrong with her dads being dads, there's a part of her that can't help but worry about it. Walking around in public with them becomes a rather trying experience for her, because she feels somehow embarrassed, and simultaneously mad that she's feeling embarrassed.

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("I think she's going through a phase," Kyungsoo says one night, watching Sumin mope after having gone out to a family dinner at a nice restaurant earlier in the evening. Sumin had looked around nervously the whole time, looking rather abashed and mildly ashamed.

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Jongin shrugs. "Well, we knew it was coming," he replies. "So do we let her come to us, or do we go to her?")

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Sumin ends up coming to them first: "We're a normal family, right?" she asks, voice tiny. Jongin lifts her up onto his lap and Kyungsoo reaches out to hold her hand.

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"We're normal, in some ways. And also not normal, in others," Kyungsoo explains gently, stroking the palm of her hand with his thumb. "But that's how all families are -- that's why everybody's different, right?"

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"And when you cook dinner at night," Sumin presses on, "that's a normal dinner, right?"

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"The fact that sometimes the recipes are a little weird aside, yes, we have normal dinners," Jongin says, and smiles. "You could ask Yoonjung what she thinks -- whether they're normal or not. She's had plenty of dinners here."

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Sumin bites her lip. "I guess," she says. She still sounds unsure, but a little happier than before.

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"It's okay to feel weird because you're different -- even embarrassed sometimes," Kyungsoo tells her. "But try not to let it get to you too much, okay? Everybody has something they get embarrassed about."

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"Okay," Sumin says, and smiles.

---

- - -

---

"Your dad cooks way better than my mom," Yoonjung says, when Sumin asks her what she thinks of Sumin's family dinners. "Don't tell my mom that, though."

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