carniv♡re girl

Hoya has his hand on Sunggyu's thigh and Woohyun's got an arm around his waist -- on the other side of the table, Sungjong wishes he could stop staring, but it's like a car wreck he can't tear his eyes away from. "You two are so gross and obvious," he mutters, but neither of them pay any attention.

---

Thankfully, before Hoya can slide his hand up any further or Woohyun can pull him any closer, Sunggyu reaches out and pushes both of them an arm's length away. "I need my space," he says bluntly. "Can you guys stop that?"

---

For once, Sungjong is glad for how thick-headed Sunggyu is when it comes to these kinds of things.

---

- - -

---

The only good thing about Woohyun and Hoya competing to curry Sunggyu's favor is that they do a lot of things that Sunggyu likes others to do for him, like clean the apartment or cook dinner. In some sort of strange competition to outshine each other, Woohyun tidies up the living room on Sunday, only for Hoya to clean Sunggyu's room on Monday. Woohyun retaliates by doing the bathroom on Tuesday, so Hoya tackles the kitchen on Wednesday. Sungjong is pretty sure they must both be masochists or something. "Everything is sparkling," Sungjong says, holding his toothbrush and staring at the mirror over the sink. His reflection has never been so clear before. "This is so wrong."

---

"It's great, right?" Sunggyu says. "I dunno what's gotten into Hoya and Woohyun lately, but I hope they keep this up."

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Sungjong pats him on the shoulder. "Just keep on blueballing them, hyung," he replies.

---

"What?" Sunggyu asks blankly.

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"Nothing," Sungjong says, and smiles.

---

- - -

---

"The day that Sunggyu hyung realizes what's going on is going to be a sad, sad day for the rest of us," Sungjong says as he lies on the floor and watching television with Sungyeol. In the kitchen, Woohyun making lunch, and it smells delicious.

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Sungyeol snorts. "Please. He wouldn't realize somebody wanted into his pants 'til after they'd already jerked him off."

---

- - -

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if i type any more this is going to get really long and drawn out and end with a gay threesome or something, so i'm stopping here (；▽；)

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1. you know those clip things on the pen cap? i always am playing with them and breaking them :(
2. related: if i study with my headphones on, i'll often stick my pens onto my headphones (y'know, the flatter bit that goes over the head?) and forget where i put them...
3. at any given moment when i'm randomly walking around from place A to place B, chances are i'm thinking about numbers/math... i'll do number decompositions, or think about homework problems, or theoretical questions or mathematical paradoxes. even my other math major friends think this is weird D:
4. i run most days! it's a stress-reliever.
5. i feel like this is going to sound weirdly sexual, but i swear it's not... ?! i prefer sleeping on my side, and i have to sleep with a pillow between my legs or else it feels... weird? like my legs aren't lining up right or something.

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you now know more about me than you ever wanted to know (〃￣ω￣〃)

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Jongsuk looks more and more tired with every time they meet up in Ulsan, and the coffees he orders keep getting larger and larger. "I don't sleep well in cars and buses," he admits, as if he thinks Woobin might not think too much about it if he casually drops it in the middle of a conversation and moves on. "How's your filming going?"

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"Fine," Woobin replies. "You should take a week off and just stay in Seoul, you know?"

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"I'm alright," Jongsuk says, even as he stifles a yawn. Woobin gives him a look; he rubs at his eyes abashedly. "Okay, maybe a little tired," he admits.

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"You got a double shot of espresso in your coffee," Woobin points out.

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"Maybe a lot tired," Jongsuk says, smiling sheepishly. "But it's alright, it's only for a few more weeks, anyway."

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A few weeks means more than a month. Woobin raises an eyebrow. "Next time you take on jobs like this, I'm going to stop you before you can accept," he says, half-joking, half-serious.

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"I can make my own decisions, can't I? I'm an adult," Jongsuk replies, pretending to pout.

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"That's why you should take better care of yourself -- nobody else will do it for you," Woobin says.

---

Jongsuk smiles. "You're taking care of me, though, aren't you?"

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actually, i think that could apply to a lot of idols. they work hard and have a lot of good traits that they don't feel the need to be like "WOW look at how great i am!!" but, idk, it's something i notice out of woohyun quite a bit.

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on the flip side, though, sometimes it feels like he likes and tries to support others at the expense of doing so for himself? he definitely has a self-sacrificing side. i remember reading this on kfa (http://kficanon.dreamwidth.org/8600.html?thread=26490264) not long after i started paying more attention to infinite and it... really pinged me on multiple levels, the most relevant one being the first comment underneath, about "push[ing] the "body" responsibility" onto him and him willingly going so far just to fulfill a certain sense of responsibility/perfectionism/what-have-you. more generally, i think his people-pleasing side and his sensitivity towards these kinds of things kind of feed into each other at times which is also something that i can understand u__u i feel like most of the time, he's pretty comfortable with who he is, but every once in a while, something -- hate/harsh criticism (either deserved or undeserved)/personal insecurities randomly flaring up -- comes up and it can really do a number on him. his harshest critic is probably himself.

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and, i guess there's something a bit morbid and twisted about it, but i see that and i'm drawn to it on on level because it's like "i get where you're coming from ):" and on another where it's like "i wish you would stop that because you're fine the way you are ):" and i don't even rly know what i'm typing anymore wah /o\ but i suppose what i'm trying to say is that to me, his flaws don't detract from my perception of him; if anything, it just makes him seem more human and more easily empathized with.

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as to not end on a totally depressing note, i'll say that if i had to pick just one thing i liked the most about him, it would be how much he cares for others -- he's easygoing and kind and supportive of others and not in a way that makes it seem like he expects anything in return for it.

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also look at this face: http://cardinality.tumblr.com/post/47548467715 he's pretty attractive (｡♥‿♥｡)

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full disclosure: this isn't so much doting on woohyun (though there is a fair share of that!) as it is me talking about my perception of him and i'm always saying that i'm afraid of self-projecting onto woohyun, so i'll try and do the rest of this in the least delusional and most objective way possible (；▽；) but the tl;dr version of this is that a lot of the insecurities i've noticed he seems to have are also ones that i tend to fall trap to, and that his good points (of which there are many) are the kinds of traits that i wish i could have as well.

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as i mentioned before when talking about the woogyu relationship dynamic, i think sunggyu and woohyun are on polar opposites when it comes to how "idol-like" they are, and i think that reflects a few things about woohyun's personality: he's a people pleaser, he's charming, he is self-aware of who he is and who he chooses to project himself as. but i also think that it reveals how much he cares about how he is perceived, which can be both a good and a bad thing imo. and i can definitely understand that feeling -- although, i think most people would be able to understand that! he wants to be liked, and there's nothing wrong with that. but more than anything, i think woohyun genuinely likes /people/, even more so than he likes being liked by other people (or else he would not be seeking positive reinforcement from sunggyu of all people, haha). and i really admire that a lot! it's so easy to look for the bad in others, and i don't think that it's a matter of woohyun not seeing the negative so much as he chooses to focus on the good. i would like to be more like that, if i could.

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but at the same time, his most likable traits are, i think, the ones he doesn't often put on display: how caring he is of others, how hard he works and dedicated he is. the fact that he's willing to wait for his time to shine and let others take their turn before him. the example that immediately comes to mind is how genuinely supportive he was of sunggyu's solo promotions when he could have had every opportunity to be bitter about it -- and i don't think that his support was fake, bc sunggyu's the type to call it as it is, and during his solo promo interviews he regularly complimented woohyun, saying that woohyun could also do solo promos, that woohyun would stay up late waiting for sunggyu, so on and so forth.

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once one starts noticing him, i think those positive traits are pretty obvious -- but the fact that he doesn't feel the need to broadcast them is also admirable in and of itself. actually, my mom sent me a motivational e-mail just this morning that i think sums up how i feel about that perfectly: "Things rise, and they let them come,Things disappear and they let them go. They have but don’t possess, act but don’t expect. They accomplish, but claim no credit. Because they claim no credit, their accomplishment remains with them." (tbc)

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the original premise of the prompts was "kaisoo raising a rebellious kid," so i started off with a vague framework of "rebellious," and then considered why she would be like that. i felt like kaisoo as parents wouldn't really do anything on purpose to drive her away, so i thought she would be kind of... willfully rebellious, if that makes sense? she doesn't purposely think, "oh, my parents want X, so i should do the opposite of X." it's more that she doesn't listen to her parents' guidance if she doesn't agree with it. that line of thought led me to decide that her modus operandi is basically that she does things because she /can/ and because she wants to, and growing up in an unconventional household (esp. one that would face a lot of judgment from the general public) firmly cemented the importance of being true to herself. she goes out and does things and is basically like "haha fuck the haters i'm living my life!!" and she tries not to place importance on being accepted on other ppl.

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at the same time, it's easy to think 'i'm not going to let other peoples' ideas about me drag me down!!' and not so easy to actually, y'know, be like that 24/7. while i think she would be very much comfortable in her own skin most of the time, she definitely struggles with public perception of her parents (both in that they are a homosexual couple as well as their past as idols). even though she doesn't care about ppl accepting her, she's sensitive to others accepting the people she cares about -- her friends, her family. she could walk into a circle of people trash-talking her and she would be like "haters gonna hate, get out of the kitchen if you can't handle my fire" but if she walked in on a circle of people talking badly about her friends or her parents, she would be hurt, offended, upset.

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that's p much the base i've been trying to work off when i wrote about her.

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Her first mistake, Sumin thinks, was telling her parents that she had a boyfriend at all, because they'd immediately spammed her e-mail inbox and phone with messages telling her to bring him over for dinner sometime soon. "They sent me 37 e-mails in a single afternoon," she says, just as the notification sound on her cell phone goes off -- she sighs. "Make that 38."

---

"They just care about you, don't they?" Yoonjung says. Sumin doesn't like it when she's so logical about these things. "I think it's kind of sweet in a really overbearing kind of way."

---

"Emphasis on overbearing," Sumin replies, rolling her eyes as she deletes the message. "I'm in college now, anyway, they shouldn't be like this anymore."

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"It's just dinner, what's the big deal? You're not still traumatized over that one time Jaesun said all that stuff about normal dinners back in like, second grade, are you?" Yoonjung asks.

---

"I am not," Sumin says a little too quickly. Yoonjung laughs; Sumin shoots her a dirty look in return.

---

- - -

---

After two days of getting bombarded with messages left and right, Sumin gives in and calls home. "Please stop sending me e-mails," she says. "I'm not bringing him for dinner, so stop asking."

---

"Why not?" Kyungsoo asks. She thinks he sounds a little hurt, but she's not sure.

---

"Just because!" she replies.

---

She can practically hear the disappointed look on his face when he sighs and says, "Okay, Sumin-ah. If you really don't want to."

---

- - -

---

It's not as if she's embarrassed of having two dads -- if anything, she's proud of them for being true to themselves. She's even (mostly) unembarrassed of their history with Exo. But then she mentions off-handedly to Chiwoong that her parents wanted to meet him, and he asks, "Oh, really? I want to meet your mom and dad, too," and for some reason, she just can't work up the nerve to correct him like she normally would.

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"I don't want him to think my dads are weird for being dads," she mutters. "Like with Jaesun -- he never really got over it, I think."

---

Yoonjung doesn't say anything, but she pats Sumin on the back and breaks out a pint of ice cream.

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The first time Hoya walks in on Dongwoo and Sunggyu, he'd just wanted to pick up his laundry. "Uh," he says, almost dropping his laundry basket as he rounds the corner to find Dongwoo straddling Sunggyu on top of the drier.

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Sunggyu shoots him a dirty look, but Dongwoo at least has the shame to look embarrassed. "I knew this was a bad idea," he murmurs.

---

"I'll just come back for my clothes later," Hoya replies, sounding far more calm than he feels. "No need to, uh, stop on my account." He turns and walks away very quickly and attempts to forget what he's seen.

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- - -

---

The second time is in the car, when everybody else is napping. Hoya wakes up because his head's rested on Sunggyu's shoulder, and Sunggyu keeps wriggling around -- he yawns and lifts his head up, blinking a few times before registering the fact that Dongwoo's mouth is awfully close to Sunggyu's crotch. "What," he says flatly. "Why. What? But no -- /why/?"

---

Sunggyu sighs as if /Hoya/ is the one doing something weird and questionable. Dongwoo attempts to disengage, but Sunggyu just pushes his head back down. "Go back to sleep, Hoya," Sunggyu says. His tone makes it clear -- it is not a suggestion.

---

Hoya covers his face with his hands and closes his eyes. It doesn't really help.

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- - -

---

By the third time, Hoya is convinced that Sunggyu and Dongwoo have something against him. "You have got to be kidding me," he mutters, wishing he could bleach his mind and his eyes from the image of the two of them rutting against each other in a corner of their practice room. "Are you two just nymphos or is getting off in public your kink?"

---

"Sorry!" Dongwoo says. He'd sound sincere, except that it sounds more like he wants desperately to come as quickly as possible.

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"No need to take out your lack of a sex life on us," Sunggyu replies snappishly. "If you're sexually frustrated, just go jerk off in the corner or something."

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Hoya opens his mouth to retort, but he changes his mind. "You know what?" he says. "I'll think I'll take you up on that."

---

Seeing the two of them look so deeply uncomfortable as he pulls his pants down and pulls out his dick is small revenge for all the trauma they've inflicted on him, Hoya thinks. Masturbating in Sunggyu's bed might bring them up to about even, though.

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