Advice on hooking up - I'm starting to fall for the guy I'm friends with benefits with but we both made it clear we weren't looking for relationships. But he acts like he likes me. What should I do?
oooh honey i cannot tell you how much i relate to your situation. i understand from personal experience what you're going through and that it absolutely sucks.
my advice, talk to him. i know, it's scary and you're afraid of rejection, of losing him as a FWB, or losing his friendship entirely, but trust me, telling him the truth is better than being stuck in a pity of self-torture when you could be finding happiness instead. don't waste time trying to be a FWB when you want more.
And also, don't expect for things to go back to normal after you talk because usually, they don't. as your friend, i want to be real with you and tell you to have a realistic approach with this.
when you do talk to him, make sure he understands that you know what you were getting yourself into when you started, but that over time, you've developed feelings. do not, i repeat, DO NOT, apologize for having ended up gaining feelings for him despite what you may have agreed to in the beginning, because that's just you being human. who can control who they fall for and who they don't? if your instincts were wrong, and he doesn't feel the same, tell him it's okay. because again, we can't control who do or don't fall for. tell him that you understand and that you may have jeopardized things between you, but obviously, you'd rather be honest with him than lie to him face.
so, that being said, if he doesn't want to pursue things with you, that's okay. you will survive. your life won't end just because he's not in it anymore. you'll find someone else who will want to be with you and make you happy. if he does want to pursue things with you, be very careful because you're stepping into a dangerous territory. you only know the sexual, fun, flirtatious side of him, and the more you get to know the real him, what his passions are, what his weaknesses are, what his flaws are, you may find out things you don't really like and it may make things worse. so, take it slow and don't rush into a relationship. just go on a few dates and see where things take you. the guy you know in bed can turn out to be a completely different guy outside of it.
hope this helps :) if you want me to go into more detail, trust me boo, i could write a book about this situation entirely (in fact, i kinda already am lol)
my advice, talk to him. i know, it's scary and you're afraid of rejection, of losing him as a FWB, or losing his friendship entirely, but trust me, telling him the truth is better than being stuck in a pity of self-torture when you could be finding happiness instead. don't waste time trying to be a FWB when you want more.
And also, don't expect for things to go back to normal after you talk because usually, they don't. as your friend, i want to be real with you and tell you to have a realistic approach with this.
when you do talk to him, make sure he understands that you know what you were getting yourself into when you started, but that over time, you've developed feelings. do not, i repeat, DO NOT, apologize for having ended up gaining feelings for him despite what you may have agreed to in the beginning, because that's just you being human. who can control who they fall for and who they don't? if your instincts were wrong, and he doesn't feel the same, tell him it's okay. because again, we can't control who do or don't fall for. tell him that you understand and that you may have jeopardized things between you, but obviously, you'd rather be honest with him than lie to him face.
so, that being said, if he doesn't want to pursue things with you, that's okay. you will survive. your life won't end just because he's not in it anymore. you'll find someone else who will want to be with you and make you happy. if he does want to pursue things with you, be very careful because you're stepping into a dangerous territory. you only know the sexual, fun, flirtatious side of him, and the more you get to know the real him, what his passions are, what his weaknesses are, what his flaws are, you may find out things you don't really like and it may make things worse. so, take it slow and don't rush into a relationship. just go on a few dates and see where things take you. the guy you know in bed can turn out to be a completely different guy outside of it.
hope this helps :) if you want me to go into more detail, trust me boo, i could write a book about this situation entirely (in fact, i kinda already am lol)
Liked by:
s
