Manzin

My LSD experiments thus far have been fruitless due to previously not being able to find enough of it to trip with. Ask me again in a couple months, I have plans.

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Mushrooms however, really nice. The colors go insanely vivid, like living in the Dope Hat video, and there are no straight lines anymore. Everything becomes soft and round, it's very organic. Can be a bit frightening. I ate too many once and became hyperaware that the being which is me was trapped in a meat suit, and I wanted out immediately. I also couldn't tell if I was breathing, couldn't find my pulse, my skin felt like a rubber wetsuit and the bones in my wrist were creeping me out. I had to be gently dissuaded from trying to find the zipper at the back of my neck because I was just about fucking done with this human bullshit. Very interesting. I do recommend it but you need to be very picky about environment and company, one tiny thing wrong can throw the whole trip off.

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I've tried to answer this question for the past 29 days it's been sitting here but every time I try to narrow down all the albums into 15 songs and all the amazing venues, the band members, the props, the stage designs, the costumes. I fall into an overwhelmed puddle of nope and it doesn't get done. So I'm forcing myself. This is painful. I hope you're happy.

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I do want to see the COMA pill and the ACSS stained glass background. I would want Tim Skold in all his smudgy glory on keys. I want Ginger back on drums. I guess Twiggy on guitar and Fred on bass. I've seen fantastic shows at the House of Blues in various states but it's too small a venue for a last show and I can't think of any beautiful perfect venues with stages big enough for what I have in mind. I want the cross of televisions (with the fire), I want the knife mic and the motherfucking stilts and the dice with all the sixes. And the contacts yes I want those back. This concert is going to be like five hours long by the time he's done with his costume/makeup changes. What to wearrrrrr ugh. The red Archbishop gear. Loved it in cream, serious hard-on for the red version. I love his flaky white/black suit with the fox shoulder from the Dope Show. The mesh with feathers Mechanical Animals thing, fuck yeah. Obviously the medical gear and the suit from Antichrist. Rubber dick underwear and shredded pantyhose and rabbit coat from SLC. Horsehair+fur sleeve bit and the leather with the McQueen headdress from Holy Wood. And the studded leather jacket, and the Celebritarian vest from the past tour(s).

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Songs? Ugh ffs. No particular order.

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Dope Hat
Sweet Tooth
Sweet Dreams
Angel With The Scabbed Wings
Tourniquet
Don't Like The Drugs (with background singers)
Cruci-fiction In Space (with the lift)
Five To One
The Golden Age Of Grotesque (with Tim on that gorgeous black and white double bass, bringing the humpy sneer)
Tainted Love
If I Was Your Vampire
Four Rusted Horse
I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies (the "we're just going to play this song for 45 minutes and you can't stop us. it's our last show what the fuck you gonna do, leave?" mix)
Murderers Are Getting Prettier Every Day
Bonus slots for new material.

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Encores as needed with additional tracks I can't decide on of but I think the last song should be Last Song On Earth. Not just because it says "Last Song" in the title. I just think it'd tie the whole thing together.

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Love and hate are overgeneralized terms for an entire spectrum of emotion. I love my parents, I love my boyfriend, I love Manson and I am seriously loving this cup of coffee right now but all of those loves are both similar and very different at the same time. I hate being away from the people I love, I hate breaking a nail, I hate being stuck behind slow drivers, and I hate watermelon but all of those are different and the same as well. They all trigger the love/hate parts of my brain but there are differences between mild annoyance and blind rage, and what might aggravate me one day might not ruffle a feather the next, it's very case by case basis. Same with love. I'll go through a period when I can't stop eating pumpkin seeds, and then I'll stop for no real reason and it'll take me months to finish the last few inches of seeds. What changed? Nothing. I still love them, I just don't love them as much right now. But I might again. For no real reason.

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The one thing I've never understood is when people get their sex lines crossed and they want to fuck someone they hate. Most of the time when I really hate someone I don't even want their name in my mouth let alone any other part of their bodies.

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