Are you a good liar?
Yes. Or did I just lie? Or was that a lie? The world may never know.
Liked by:
Amanda
Ask @JCol13
Previous
i need advice, stat! i just farted and im under my covers. it smells really bad, like a mixture of rotten yams and bloody korean applesauce. im suffocating, but its so warm under my covers. plus im masturbating and things are getting pretty intense. help me!
First, breathe in all of your fart. Then, once done masturbating, go to your closest relative, and breathe your fart into his/her face. Walk away like a boss. P.S. these are now getting a annoying. -The King.
help me! im in the middle of a steamy hookup with my iguana but i need to stop because im already pregan with ten yaks. i dont want to give him blue balls though... what do i do?!
Tell the iguana your off to Hawaii for a business trip. Then, give birth to the ten yaks. You can A: put them up for adoption, or B: when you return home, tell your iguana that you adopted 10 yaks. Either way, your iguana will have no idea of what your current status is. I hope this helps. -Dr. Colbert III
Related users
hi dr. colbert lll, i need help! my tuna casserole has been ignoring me lately and that makes me sad because we used to have such a strong connection. do you think shes going through menopause? or is she just depressed? i need your diagnosis! please help
If there is anything you must know, it is this: Tuna Casseroles are very on and off people. Except that they have very long cycles. She can act very sweet for multiple years, and then act sour for multiple years. If you give her enough time she will become sweet again. However you have to love her throughout her Bad Cycle. I hope this will help. -Dr. Colbert III
So I've seen you give great advice to others and I need some too. I really want to propose to my girlfriend-the only problem is, she is a bird made out of bread. This makes her very irritable and I don't want her to yell at me for rushing things. What do I do?
I've had a patient in the past with this very issue. Bread Birds can be very emotional and reactant girlfriends. Before you propose, make sure that your bread-bird-girlfriend loves you. You can tell by if she makes eggs and toast for you in the mornings. And when you do propose, make sure you propose with a bacon ring. This will complete the Breakfast Connection. Eggs from the the bird, toast from the bread, and bacon from your future bacon ring. Hopefully this will help. -Dr. Colbert III
like who would u date other than cara
Nunya Business
I need your help. I have a serious addiction to humping salt. its just so humpable! i like any kind (kosher, sea salt etc) so its really easy to just see some and hump it. i crave my daily salt hump at 5:07 every day. how do i get over my salt humping addiction?
Now, here's the key: it all depends whether this is 5:07 AM, or 5:07 PM. If it's in the morning then this is known as Morning Salt Humping Syndrome. If it's in the afternoon then it is known as Evening Salt Humping Syndrome. Those are two completely different things. MSHS can be solved by taking sleeping pills. Those will make you sleep past 5:07. ESHS can be solved by the consumption of salty French fries before 5:07, preferably at lunch. This will subdue your craving salt. I hope this helps. -Dr. Colbert III
Like who
What do u mean?
Could Cara be the First Lady?
I haven't won yet.
What product would you refuse to promote?
Blackhawk jerseys
Liked by:
Elizabeth Metivier
I need your advice. Over the past month, My hair is getting lighter, I suddenly like country music an have developed a crush with the Jonas Brothers. Am I turning into Taylor Swift? (PS I am a 30 year old Indian Male).
Before anything I want you to calm down. Your hair getting lighter is simply because of recent Air Peroxide in the air. The country music addiction is simply the fact that country music stocks have risen in the past month. Finally, your love for the Jonas Brothers is natural. The Jonas Brothers are sexy beasts and can be easily attracted to. I hope this answers your question.
Liked by:
Angie
Amanda
Elizabeth Metivier
Would u ever date anyone other thn cara
Yeah
I need your advice. I am getting boners over really sexy nachos. Every time I see one, I just ejaculate all over the place uncontrollably. I don't know what to do, because nachos are everywhere! They are just too sexy for me not to get a boner over. I am a 7 year old fish. What do I do???
Nachos are the very definition of sexy. So I can understand your situation. However, if you want to not get boners and ejaculate when you see the nachos, you must eat them before it is too late. There are side effects for this Eat Before Erect Method: your stomach may develop a boner once the nacho has entered the stomach.
Where is the worst place you could get stuck?
A lava pit.
I am dick
Hi dick
How often do you draw?
When I am in school
Albert?
Einstein?
Which of your friends do you suspect is a girl in disguise
Drew
Liked by:
Drew Jackson
So i hear you are a chicken whisperer
I bet Steve the Chicken told you that. I could never trust Steve.
#9thColbert2013
Fight me bro
Who else is running for class president
Gui, and Ashley. But they're not important. So vote for me.
Liked by:
cam brier
Drew Jackson
Angie
Collin McMahon
Nick stukonis
Amanda
Testiles
TESTILES!!!
Liked by:
Amanda
way to go Jared u da flyest
We both da flyest
MIKEMIKEMIKEMIKEMIKE GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS
"Wednesday" "HUUUUMMPP DAAIIIIEEEEYYYYY!!!!"
hump daIIEEEEEEEEY
HUUUUUUUUUUMP DAIIEEEEYYYY
Next
